Today is a good day. I don’t say that very often, but I’m saying it today. Today is more than a good day, it’s a wonderful day. Sure, my body and I are still feeling enough pain to let us know that we remain anchored on earth and haven’t made it up to heaven. But it’s a really good day. It feels like a day in a delightful dream.
I can’t help but think of how I almost decided to never let this day happen. Years ago I almost ended my own life, and if I had done that, I never would have gotten to live today. I have begun to realize now, in more recent days, that part of what was going on inside of me back then, years ago, was that I never foresaw anything but the bad that would happen. I foresaw all the doom and gloom, all the pain. But what I failed to expect, failed to see, were the good things.
I didn’t anticipate the good days. I didn’t anticipate the happy moments. I didn’t anticipate the joy that was still possible. I almost made a decision to eliminate all of that potential joy from the universe.
Yet, in the end, I didn’t end my own life. I’m here today. I live today. I was happy today – I am happy today. I am ridiculously blessed. I’m thankful.
Life certainly hasn’t been easy. There have been more hard days than I would like to think about. But just because those days were hard doesn’t mean they were worthless. And let’s face it: everyone is bound to have hard days.
Today has been a gift. I stand in awe. This is a moment I could take months soaking in.
“Bless the Lord O my soul, and forget not all his gifts…” I want to say thank you. Thank you God for today. Thank you for life, and that I’m still living it. It is really hard sometimes, as my pain is all too ready to remind me. But the fact that this life – my life – has pain in it doesn’t make it bad.