We all want a sense of belonging. We want there to be at least one other person in the world who belongs to us, and we want to belong to them too. This belonging is not slavery, but rather love, intimacy and security. It’s being home to someone, and having them be home to you. It’s been precious to them, and holding them as precious to you.
It’s true that there are people out there who call themselves “loners”. Do you think it’s possible that even these people have this desire for belonging buried somewhere inside of their secret selves?
What do we do if we start looking around and we begin to notice that, in our whole existence, one thing seems to be missing: that person who would be home to us? How does it feel to not “belong”?
It feels like you are looking at the world from the outside. It feels like a cosmic insult… Why do other people get to belong when you don’t? It feels like being outside in the cold and the rain. It feels like many things, none of them pleasant.
These feelings can easily add to a sense of depression, and even tendencies towards suicide. But what if we step back for a minute? After all, as I said, these things are feelings. And feelings can lie.
That right there is a place to start. Are you being led by feelings? Sometimes I have to ask myself this. Sometimes my feelings make me not think of things I would otherwise consider, like the friend whom I could easily turn to and who would listen to me.
We could ask other things too. Could we build bridges and manage relationships? Yet that is not what I want to focus on right now. I want to focus on something more stable, something better suited to help with these feelings and this pain.
When I feel I don’t belong, I like to open up a letter I have from someone who has told me: “I have called you by name; you are mine! You are precious in my eyes, you are honored and I love you.”
Believe it or not, this was an open letter. It was written to many many people, by someone who has so much love he can perfectly love me, and perfectly love you. Yes, you may have guessed who I mean: God.
Has anyone else ever said words like that to you, and really meant them? God meant them so much he paid the ultimate price – death – to prove it.
Now that is love. I’m glad I belong to such a God. You’re probably skeptical about him; many people are. However, if you are really searching to belong, do you think it might be worth finding out a little more about this God? The “about” section of this blog tells you how you could pursue that information.